“They threw me into the deep end, and after that I could swim beautifully.”

Aung San Suu Kyi

1. “Skinny Love” — Bon Iver
2. “Have It All” — AJ McLean
3. “Your Biggest Mistake” — Ellie Goulding
4. “Someone Said Goodbye” — Enya
5. “Come Home” — Eyes Set to Kill
6. “Everybody Bleeds the Same” — Ferras
7. “Bleed American” — Jimmy Eat World
8. “Darkest Blue” — Lostprophets
9. “My Sweet Pessimist” — Lannen Fall
10. “Time Lapse Lifeline” — Maria Taylor
11. “The Listening” — Lights
12. “Mt. St. Joseph” — A Loss for Words
13. “Keep My Lovers True” — A Love Like Pi
14. “Anywhere But Here” — Mayday Parade
15. “Brick By Boring Brick (Acoustic)” — Paramore
16. “Just in Time” — There for Tomorrow
17. “In Your Shadow I Can Shine” — Tokio Hotel
18. “Lunacy Fringe” — The Used
19. “Pale (Acoustic)” — Within Temptation

This was just super adorable and made me smile. Robyn is super-cute & I love the song that plays in the background, “Dancing On My Own”. I haven’t been able to stop listening to it the past few days. Not only is it just a really good song, it’s what I really need to hear right now. I really identify with it, haha.

It’s time to start planning the next day of the rest of your life, if you haven’t already. It’s time to make a change, fall in love, scream at the top of your lungs everything that means the most to you. This one night of the year is so powerful, but you have ten times that power. It’s time to harness that, even more than you do already, and become even better than the incredible, lovely, indestructible person that you already are.

I’m so happy about all the wonderful people I’ve met this year and all the wonderful things that have happened to me. My life has changed so much; this world is such a magical place and I’ve never felt that more than I have this year, especially in the last half of 2010. I went to Hawaii in August and met a world traveler with whom I never exchanged names & who continues to impact my life and the way that I think. I began college in September and made all my friends through fire drills and recreational academic pursuits. I danced in the streets of New York and ran around Manhattan wearing bunny ears.

I kissed someone for the first time in three years. I learned to love my wide hips. I drained a lot of negativity out of my life and, damn, did it feel good. I kicked ass on exams; I made mixtapes and wrote long notes in multi-coloured ink. I made my own cups and got my first job. I spent hours watching eighties movies in other people’s rooms; there are so many new inside jokes and people I hope I get to love forever. Let’s hear it for kicking ass, taking names, and chewing bubblegum!

Tomorrow, I’ll make my resolutions. But for right now, I’m just going to lay back, dance to Korean pop music, sing at the top of my lungs, drink soda, watch gory crime movies on my laptop, and send sweet text messages. Tomorrow, I’ll take up the burdens of my daily life again, but they’ll be lighter because I’ll be stronger. But for right now, I’m just going to enjoy the last night of one of the best years of my life and make a promise that next year will be even better.

I’ve never been happier than I have this year and I can’t wait for the magic that 2011 will bring me. I’ve never been more confident or more afraid, and I’ve never been more in love with the Universe.

xoxo, Tuesday Kisses!

I’m wearing…

• Floral bustier, about 9$ from Bealls Outlet
• White vest, about 10$ from Strawberry
• Semi-see-through grey cardigan-shirt-thing, about 8$ from Bealls Outlet
• Favorite wide-legged jeans, about 40$ from Target (worth it)
• Studded belt, 20$ from Spencer’s
• Bird necklace, about 8$(?) from Wet Seal
• Spiral earrings, about 5$(?) from Duane Reade
• Various chains as bracelets (all free) — one wallet chain, gift from my brother when I asked if he had any extra chains laying around that I could make jewelry out of; two decorative chains from different pairs of pants connected as one bracelet
• One purple sock & one navy blue sock, borrowed from my mother right before I ran out the door tonight
• Mini white & silver-sequined hair bow w/ hot pink headband, 8$, Starry Eyed Bowtique
• Knee-high patent black Doc Marten boots, 150$ with a 30% discount (or something), dmusastore.com

So when I first started (very occasionally) taking daily outfit photos, it really made me think about how much money I spent on clothes. I normally wouldn’t pay twenty dollars for a cardigan, like I had originally estimated this one to have cost me. And then I felt really bad and weird and guilty, thinking, ‘Why’d I pay twenty dollars for a cardigan when I could have donated that twenty bucks to charity or at least bought something sturdier?’ So I got off my bed and went out to my pile o’ clothing tags from my Christmas gifts and found that the cardigan cost me eight dollars. And then I felt a lot better.

I remember while my mom & I were shopping for Christmas that I saw a top I liked but I didn’t want to buy it because it was twenty dollars. And she said to me, “You know, just this once you can buy something that’s not on sale.” But I guess being fairly conservative with my money is pretty important to me because I recognize that a lot of people don’t have enough to be able to buy things like these for themselves.

Anyway, the two most expensive things in my outfit are my belt (which, uh, thank you for overcharging me, Spencer’s. Not paying more than ten bucks when this one starts falling apart.) and my jeans & boots (which are definitely worth it, especially when it comes to keeping warm up north). I think college has made me more sensitive about money in some weird ways, especially in a big city with a lot of homeless people. I have to save for expenses now and I don’t even always have a little bit to give to someone who needs it (mostly because I never have cash), plus I’ve always had kind of a weird perspective. I’ve always gotten pretty much whatever I want (thank you, mom), but I didn’t ask for too much & I’ve always known my family didn’t have as much as a lot of my friends.

But money isn’t actually the point of this post! I don’t really have a message here with all my blathering except 1) I’m looking to live off-campus next year and I need to save; 2) please consider donating to a worthy cause to celebrate the New Year if you can; 3) being conservative with your money and not spending like you have a sugardaddy when you don’t is REALLY COOL. (Re #3: I’ve seen some really wild spenders at college. 600$ in dresses in a week?! What?!)

Anyway, another thing I’ve discovered recently is that paying for jeans that really fit well even if they aren’t on sale is really worth it. I’ve heard a lot of people say that jean shopping is really hard for them, & frankly… even though these cost forty dollars they’re completely worth it because for almost a year they were the only pair of jeans I felt comfortable in. Every once in a while, spending the money for something that makes you feel really, really good — and these do, every time I wear them, like my favorite perfume or baking from scratch — is worth spending more than you normally would for. Especially because I think it’s going to be a valuable investment in the long term that I bought a few expensive pairs of jeans before college and they haven’t worn out yet, like the ten dollar pairs which were almost worn out within a few months. And they’re so much warmer; it is ridiculous.

Now that I’ve blathered on for a while, a couple more points about this outfit. Both of my bracelets are “homemade” — by which I mean I grabbed some chains and wrapped them around my wrists and I like them better than almost anything I’ve ever seen/bought in a store. Adapting clothing items can be really rad and it makes outfitting yourself for the day a lot earlier. At college, I got pretty bored with my wardrobe at a few points. So I wore my vests more (and then less when I got bored of vests), and I got my roommate to help me pin one so that it fit better. I’ve been known to safety pin my clothing shut when a  button comes off and then add more safety pins to make it look decorative. A button popped off during one of my classes and I used a paperclip in my pocket to hold my shirt closed for the rest of the day (it was pretty great, ahaha). When I got bored of all my blouses, I started wearing camis and then tying a button-down beneath my chest southern/cowgirl-style to make it more appropriate.

And I never wear socks that match.

(I also wore bunny ears to one of my midterms as a protest that it was early in the morning, but that’s another story.)

I had some other really random point but I honestly have no idea what it was. Toodles and Tuesday kisses! ♥

It’s flowers and everything we never let ourselves dream we could have.

Red –> Black.